CBS & Warner Bros., RCA & All The Others

Warner Bros. TV and UPN (The "U Peoples' Network;" a black friend called it that so bacdafucoff) are merging to create a new network, called The CW Television Network, to be named for parent companies CBS and Time Warner. Great. Now you have a one-stop shop for all the crap the big four wouldn't buy.

On an unrelated television note, sometime before the New Year the DISH Network severed ties with Lifetime Network. (They replaced it with WE in some markets, and Oprah's Oxygen Network in others.) Normally, who cares, because I have a penis, but there was a full-page ad in the papers today that made me go hmmmmmm. (Scroll to the "See the full-page ad" info and click.)

It's the floating opposites that get me. "46 Sports channels. 7 Pornography channels. 0 Lifetime channels." And? And this, it's more bullshit advertising. Lifetime is whining because Dish has room for 46 sports channels and 7 channels for porn, but no room for the iddy-biddy liddle womens' market? Awww. That of course intimates that women can ONLY enjoy Lifetime-calibre "Mother, may I sleep with the handsome killer while my five kids and I endure my cancer" movies and bullshit talk shows? Why would a major entertainment network ever intimate that women can't enjoy sports? Or even, Christ forbid, a little pornography? Has the knuckle-dragging "Man TV=Sports+Pussy" mindset finally trickled down to the pretty ladies at Lifetime? Listen, doll-faces, women can do lots of stuff now. Anchorman taught us that. Sometimes they can watch a ball game, or even two guys doing a woman who looks almost happy to be getting done by two guys. And I, the proud possessor of a penis (and yes, it's my own), can even watch Lifetime if I want. Hotcha!!! Freedom of choice!!!

Of course, I don't have a dish, but that kind of ad makes me want to buy one just so I can revel in the fact that Lifetime got shafted.



PS you think DISH's flip-flop might have somethig to with the fact that The Most Powerful Woman In The World fucking owns Oxygen?