Jingle Them Crazy Bells

Hooray! Ring the bells! Karl Rove, that pasty-ass motherfucker, has resigned his post as Josh Lyman to George W. Bartlet. Rove, that pasty-ass motherfucker, said he is resigning to spend more time with the seventeen-foot-tall stack of indictments that he looks at every morning rather than staring at his own pasty-ass visage in the mirror, where he might see his soul flying out the back of his fucking head, winging away to its dark master. "I'm at least thrice-damned to begin with," said the pasty-ass motherfucker, perhaps finally becoming aware of his no-doubt Faustian bargain, and perhaps referring to his vote-fraud-rigging, or perhaps the leaking of the name of a CIA agent who was covert at the time, and most certainly that fucking 'MC Rove' bullshit. "So if I can perhaps escape the fiery conflagration that I have almost single-handedly engineered myself, which will soon engulf this once-great nation in the fire of regret and confusion, the threat of Congressional indictment may at least serve as the steel-spiked, acid-salted poultice of the never-abating torture that awaits the endless cycle of my days. God be damned."

Nice speech, fuckhead. Now get the fuck out.