Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Not From The New York Times-On This Date

NOV. 13, New York--Today, freelance photographer Felix Unger ("Portraits a Specialty") was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife.

"And take this [expletive deleted] saucepan with you," she was alleged to have said. Unger, though distraught, appeared unruffled and was actually philosophical and upbeat about the situation.

"Deep down, I know she's right," he said, "but I also know that someday I'll return to her."

With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Madison, a sportswriter, was somewhat understanding of Unger's position. Several years earliuer, Madison's wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return.

Grounds for expulsion were not known at press time, but sources close to both men believe their hygienic habits might lay at the heart of the matter.

"Felix is a neat freak, Oscar's a slob. [Unger's wife] Gloria and [Madison's wife] Blanche were going crazy," said New York policeman Murray Greshler, a longtime poker-playing friend of both men. Madison's downstairs neighbor, Cecily Pigeon, concurred. "Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy? Coo, love, if they can it'll be a bloody miracle."


At 6:56 PM, Blogger Stuart Shea said...

"Use your coaster," Mr. Greschler was told.


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