Sunday, January 20, 2008

Okay. Can you all do me a favor? Two favors actually. The first: Go see Persepolis. Then read it. Or vice versa.

Two. Stop saying "British." Everyone knows you mean "English" anyway.

Because Britain is actually not a country or a nationality at all, it's an island. We all know which island it is, it's that big isosceles triangle between Iceland and France, upon which are situated the countries of England, Scotland, and Wales. Those three, plus Northern Ireland, Australia, Canada, blah blah, make up the Commonwealth of the United Kingdom. Of Great Britain. And Stuff.

But to say something is "British" doesn't really mean anything, not the way it gets thrown around these days, anyway. We don't mean "from the British Isles." "Oh yes, I love his British accent." "It's a British film." "Girls Gone Wild would be so much better if all the drunk girls were British." It's clear that 99.9 percent of the time what is meant is "English," but you know, Sean Connery is from Scotland and so is Ewan MacGregor, and Colin Farrel is from up there in Ireland, which isn't even a Commonwealth country (although Northern Ireland is, but I'll take that shit apart on St. Patrick's Day, maybe.) and, well, I don't know, so... So there goes the portmanteau sobriquet (French) "British" (English) so as to not offend anybody. Just say "English." God damn it. There's no such thing as a sexy Brit with a sexy British accent. He's Welsh. Or from Northern Ireland.

Thanks again. I love you. Now go see Persepolis.

3 Comments:

At 3:45 AM, Blogger Raven said...

I have a "British" passport. What do you think I should call that?

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger An Olde Manor said...

If you live in Britain, you are British. If you are Welsh, Scottish,N. Irish or English, you are also British.
You are all Brits!

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger Tom said...

Raven, I suggest you call your passport "Porty," because "Passy" just sounds odd.

 

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