Fun With Real Comcast Headlines

Palin spells out her role in McCain administration
GOLDEN, Col. - Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin was eager to spell out, for assembled reporters, her role in John McCain's administration .

"It's spelt H-E-R-O-I-N, and never, eeeever do it, 'kay keeids?" The junior governor of a state with less people than Nashville said.

When informed by a handler that she had been asked to figuratively spell out "her role," the MILFy pol beamed and said, "Mmmm. 'Kay then. Byeeeee!" And was whisked away to a waiting SUV.

No further questions were even contemplated by the press.






George Takei marries longtime partner Brad Altman

(via AP)LOS ANGELES — George Takei and his longtime partner, Brad Altman, have agreed to live long and prosper together.
Takei, 71, and Altman, 54, were married Sunday in a multicultural ceremony at the Japanese American National Museum that featured a Buddhist priest, Native American wedding bands, a Japanese Koto harp and a bagpipe procession.
The couple, both clad in white dinner jackets with black pants, made a grand entrance to the tune of "One Singular Sensation" from the Broadway musical "A Chorus Line." They stepped into a circle of yellow roses and lilies, where they shared a traditional Japanese tea ceremony and were wed by a Buddhist priest.
The priest then pronounced them "spouses for life." A bagpiper played as the newlyweds walked out, followed by friends, family and a few members of the press.
The "Star Trek" star and his manager plan to honeymoon in Argentina and Peru.
A spokesmen for the couple confirmed the ceremony was indeed "the gayest thing since Oscar Wilde fucked the cast of La Cage Aux Folles up the ass while wearing a Balenciaga spring frock."