Monday, December 26, 2005

All I Want Fer Christmas to know who swiped Nikolai Khabibulin's glove. I'm sure it would make a nice Xmas gift for a fan. But Goddammit, he needs that glove. Just look at what's happened lately. Two overtime losses in the dying seconds, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. God, the Blackhawks suck.

It's not all Khabibulin's fault. But he was their biggest off-season signing. A wall with the Lightning (yeah, the "Bulin Wall," yeah yeah) two years ago when they won the Cup and shit. So the Hawks snapped him up with what amounts to a good deal of pride around these parts. But I was never convinced that goaltending was the problem and that a new goalie was the solution. And it would seem I'm right about this one. He's not terrible in game situations, but shows no glove (top shelf lefthand side is going to look good to wristers from now on) and can't make the big save when the game's in the balance. And that's precisely why they got him, for big-save-type impact. He's atypical of the rest of the team, which is young, cheap, and undisciplined. With the emphasis on "cheap." 'Cause look who still owns the team.

Bill Wirtz can go fuck himself. You hear that, Bill? Sell the team, or go fuck yourself.

Your choice.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Work a little harder, why don't you (Sports Page verson)

Fun tales of bad reportage from the world of sport:
Dateline:Chicago! Tuesday! Chicago Tribune's "alternative" paper Red Eye! The sports section had one of those "hip," "appealing," "young" segments asking panelists questions. Topic 1 was "Where is USC's [all-everything, soon-to-be Heisman Trophy winner] Reggie Bush playing this time next year?" The answer of one Leo Ebersole (who I think is the fucking scabrous gossip guy for the Red Eye, so, sports, yeah, why not) says "He'll be in the Orange Bowl as a member of the San Francisco 49ers."

So, Leo thinks Reggie is going to be the first-round pick of this year's worst team in the NFL, the Niners, (with you so far) and he's so good he'll take them to the Super Bowl. Worst to first. Fine. (Not going to happen, but fine.)

Except. The Super Bowl isn't in the God-damned Orange Bowl next year. It's in Miami, yeah ("South Florida" is what the NFL calls it, whatsomever) but the Orange Bowl stadium isn't used for pro football anymore! They don't even play the Orange Bowl in the God-damned Orange Bowl anymore! The Super Bowl is being played in Dolphins Stadium, like every other non-U-of-Miami game in Miami. Sheesh. Read a fucking press release, why don't you, Leo.

Item #2! Dateline: Lisbon! The one in Portugal, even! Wednesday night! Manchester United soccer club falls short in the UEFA Champions League prelims to Portuguese side Benfica. Man U legend George Best died recently, and the English press wee-weed over the eerieness of Man U crashing out in Lisbon, where Best's Man U side triumphed in 1968 to win the UEFA Championship. BBC even told us it was the very same stadium.

Except. The old Stadium of Light (or Estadio da Luz, if you must) was demolished three years ago to make way for the new Estadio, which was built for the Euro 2004 Championships. This is the BBC. Getting soccer details wrong.

Woe to the Republic. And a middle finger to the fact-checkers.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Heroes Leaving Now

All I can say is, if we lose August Wilson and Wendy Wasserstein within the space of a few months, I may lose hope altogether. Why not just take Neil Simon, Stephen Sondheim and Harold Prince while you're at it?