Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Pride and Joy of Illinois

Celebrate, Bears fans.

Rather amazing that Lovie Smith is the first black coach to try for a Super Bowl...
(UPDATE:Tony Dungy, y'all!!! Two black head coaches in the Super Bowl at once!!! Rush Limbaugh's dick falls off!!! Wheee!!! Our race problems are over!!! Ahem. Not. But still, I think it's still one out of five coaches in the NFL. That's not perfect, but it's better than the 50s and 60s, when George Halas ran every team and Vince Lombardi was the coach of every team.)

Fuck you, Joe Buck. If you can't hide your Dad's anti-Cubs bias when you cover the Bears, for Christ's sake, pack it the fuck in and get it the fuck off the national airwaves. Fuck Joe fucking Buckfuck fuck fuckfuck.

Will any of the national football media besides Tim Cowlishaw, Brian Baldinger, and Katherine Smith be able to stick a crowbar in their asses and finally, finally show the Bears some respect?

The trepidation the Bears fans felt for the last few weeks, after the Green Bay game and into the playoffs, is part and parcel with the Second-City inferiority complex that permeates the great City of Chicago, my home and the greatest city in the world. I fed into it every year (except 1996) the Bulls went to the NBA finals, but I finally refused to give in in 2005, when the White Sox went to the World Series. Anyone who asked whether we should consider the Astros as superior, I would say the same thing: No. Let someone be afraid of us. We led wire-to-wire, pitching, situational hitting, blah blah blah. I feel the same now. The Bears have done exactly what they needed to to get there. No more, and certainly no less. (Like, you know, turnovers. As in not a one, beeyotch.) Well, they poured it on at the end there, y'all, so that's More, I guess.

Celebrate. Good Times. Come on. Woo-hoo.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

On the Sleeve of My Peasant Shirt

So after I got off the "Express Train" and wandered into the "Super Market" for some cat litter and rolls, I had on my "Head Phones" that were connected to my "Compact Disk Player," featuring a "C.D." (short foe "Compact Disk") of my own making, one that I had "Burned" on my "Home Computer" using "Digital Sound Technology." And what was on this "C.D." as I walked in the store?

Why, Larry Groce's "Junk Food Junkie," of course. Nothing like walking around a store with that coming at you. Bravo for life's tiny ironies, if I might paraphrase Garry Trudeau.

Monday, January 08, 2007

It's Not That Hard

Scorsese. Spelt thusly, once and for all:


Can we please get it right, 'Net folk who don't always write about moobies? Because it's not like he just fell out of the sky and started making them yesterday.

Scorsese. Martin Scorsese. Who is not the possessor of an Academy Award, of which Kevin Costner deprived him. Think about that.