Friday, February 08, 2008

Thuper Thursday!!!!

And now, a poem:


Backstage at CPAC, Dennis Miller and Rush Limbaugh, their trousers already down at their ankles in anticipation of the mega-wankfest they would get from listening to Mitt Romney draw air, collapsed into hysterical sobbing fits as he suspended his Presidential campaign. Miller and Limbaugh fell into each others' arms seeking comfort, and ended up making sweet, sweet love.

A Malibu beachfront wedding is planned for early March.

No way. Go back to Massachusetts, you fags.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

But Vote!!!

Happy Super-hyple-foople-ized-and -Astro-glumpfinated Tuesday!!!

Isn't it great to partake in the Democratic process, especially when you live in a state where results are a foregone conclusion?

I do like seeing all the driver's-eye-level rally posters for all the candidates we never heard of, running for the offices we don't care about, clustered together as close to the polling place doors as is legally allowed, like they're huddling for warmth near a heat source. Someone should go out and pour soup on them.

And while we're on the subjeck of pollyticks, how hilarious would it be if Huckabee swept the south and fucked up McCain's coronation and Romney's pity party? On the other hand, seeing McCain get the nomination tonight would be fun because it would force Rush Limbaugh to shove something in his fucking mouth other than a steamer trunk full of OxyContin and Milk Duds. Fucking asshole.

I hope you voted, and if not, that's OK, because I live in Chicago and I voted twice.